The Lost Roles of Denzel Washington

While promoting his latest film, Flight, Denzel Washington revealed to GQ a few roles he let slip away throughout his long career. It’s always interesting to play the alternate reality game with Hollywood’s finest and in this instance Denzel states that the David Fincher thriller, Seven as well as Tony Gilroy’s directorial debut, Michael Clayton were the ones that got away. After he passed on the films, the roles went to Brad Pitt and George Clooney respectively. Those are some pretty decent fallbacks if you ask me. Denzel also goes on to say that he sought roles in Platoon and Full Metal Jacket. But why stop there? We cast Denzel in this year’s biggest movies to see how things would have gone.

The Avengers

We offer Denzel the roles of both Tony Stark and Nick Fury. He turns them down to play The Hulk. The world is treated to the most unique portrayal of Dr. Bruce Banner we’ve ever seen. The Hulk no longer growls, he just laughs coolly while strolling through the New York City war zone. “Huh Ha! Hulk gonna smash ya!”

The Dark Knight Rises

Due to scheduling conflicts Denzel has to turn down the Batman role, but he is able to play Alfred. When director Chris Nolan tells Denzel to inspire Bruce Wayne, he misunderstands and busts out his speech from Remember the Titans.

“This is where they fought the battle of Gettysburg. Fifty thousand men died right here on this field, fighting the same fight that we are still fighting among ourselves today.”

After a long explanation about Gotham’s location in the fictional US and who the villain is, the scenes get cut from the film.

The Hunger Games

Denzel plays Haymitch, Katniss and Peeta’s mentor and past winner of the games. While insisting on going method for the role, it turns out Denzel gets giggly when drunk and spends the whole time claiming he won the Hunger Games by building a room behind a wall and robbing a bank, a story which is very similar to his film, The Inside Man.

The Amazing Spider-Man

Taking on the role of Dr. Connors/The Lizard, it turns out Denzel does a great job and the crowds rejoice. Imagine that.

I guess Denzel doesn’t need our help. Flight opens November 2nd. The full GQ interview can be read here.

A Warning Against Film Prejudice

We often get a bit of a criticism for the way blockbuster movies are scored in our reviews. In the year end rankings it’s been common to see comic book characters right next to the Oscar nominees, or sometimes above them on the list. Why is that? Well probably because I’ve never considered sadness as a more credible emotion than excitement and spectacle. Remember that moment when you were a kid and you saw the movie. It’s different for everyone. I have about 50. Star Wars, Godzilla, Die Hard. Those movies matter to us because they introduce us to something new, and even more importantly, because we like them.

With my generation, there seems to be a shift around college age where instantly spectacle becomes shallow and excitement becomes cheap. Sure, people will praise The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises because the critics tell us it is okay to do so. I can tell you right now that in a few weeks the pessimistic moviegoer will be praising Looper. The critics are telling us we may do so.

My approach is to go to each movie with the same excitement. I often go on weeknights when the theaters are mostly empty. My wife times me on how long it takes to get our tickets from the kiosk. (I can navigate the whole process in 20 seconds. It’s actually pretty impressive). My point is that I want to be there. But now what? The summer is over and the award season bait is hitting the screens. That’s okay too. Be excited for those. Different film elements are on display. Dialogue is more paramount than the emotions tied to physically fighting.

So here is my call against the least important and damaging form of prejudice, film prejudice. I’m quick to defend action blockbusters since I am constantly reading the “experts” rip them to pieces because of their supposed inferiority. But in reality, the casual moviegoer needs to approach the indie dramas with a similarly open mind. I dare you to go to the movies without an opinion of a film predetermined. It’s tough. But if you’re not willing to have fun at the movies, wait until they come onto TBS or FX. Then you can whine about the amount of commercials they’re playing.

Who is Resident Evil?

The fifth film in the Resident Evil Series hit theaters this weekend, Resident Evil: Retribution, and while the jury is still out on our thoughts of the film, check back for a full review, the constant commercials got me thinking. Resident Evil is actually a pretty interesting name for a video game/ film franchise. From a quick Google search it seems that the title is just in reference to the threat being local. If so, that’s a waste. It has a very Citizen Kane flavor to it. Which film villain would make the best RESIDENT EVIL?

Anakin Skywalker/ Darth Vader- Star Wars: Episode III- Revenge of the Sith

The character is definitely much more evil in the original Star Wars films, but in this episode Skywalker turns and kills a ton of unsuspecting Jedi because they know him as one of their own. That would make him a resident and evil.

Tom Riddle/ Voldemort- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

The youthful version of the wizard is more hung up on schoolyard forms of villainy, but there seems little hope the bad seed would ever find his way. We tried to tell you, Dumbledore. Once the kid murders his dad (not on screen), the creep becomes a case study in evil.

The Shark- Jaws

You don’t get much more residential than a nice day trip to the beach. Then out of nowhere, a big old shark eats you. Sure nature is nature, but that doesn’t mean the shark isn’t evil.

Norman Bates- Psycho

He doesn’t track people down. He waits for them to come to his motel. And his mother is quite creepy as well. Norman would be a clearer shoo in as Resident Insane, but the way Psycho plays out leaves me thinking the guy fits just fine into the evil category.

The Joker- The Dark Knight

We all know how impressive it was for Heath ledger to reinvent a character that’s been performed so many times. But rarely has a villain been so crazy… and awesome. Is the Joker a resident of Gotham? We don’t know, but he picked that particular city to be the focus of his evil.

So what do you think? Did we pretty much cover it or do you have a Resident Evil in mind?

Summer '12 Blockbuster Preview

It’s time to pack away those copies of The Artist on DVD. The blockbuster season begins this weekend with The Avengers and there is no room for indies until the fall. That means action, big name actors and even bigger production budgets are the name of the game. Isn’t it glorious? I can virtually smell the popcorn already. What’s Up Movement will be with you every step of the way to review the films. So while every movie couldn’t make the blockbuster preview list, here are some of our most anticipated. Let us know your list in the replies and on Facebook.



-Most Intriguing:

Magic Mike- On the surface there are some elements that seem to be aimed toward a female audience, but the emergence of Channing Tatum as a comedic heavy weight combined with the big time cast makes the film look really good. But will the stripping scenes detract from the plot too much? Every woman in the world just simultaneously slapped me. Ouch.

Honorable Mention:

Snow White and the Huntsman looks so intense that I wonder if it can actually be that exciting. Does Thor have the ability to make Kristen Stewart likeable? Is Charlize Theron playing a female Voldemort? These are questions I just don’t have the answers to.

Without fail, every time the trailer for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter plays in a theater I am in, the crowd laughs. Enjoy your jokes now, World. Because fifth grade social studies as you know it will be forever changed. Or the movie could be really stupid. But they’ve got me interested.



-Yeah, I’ll actually see that:

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days- Go ahead, tell me these movies are stupid. I’ll agree with you. But the two predecessors in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series are some of the best children’s comedies in recent memory. In addition to funny scripts, the actors are actually really good. With the whole crew back, I’m expecting much of the same.

Honorable Mention:

I’ve learned not to discount Adam Sandler movies on principle. That’s My Boy won’t be the first. Next time you’re watching a “really bad” Sandler movie, look next to you and tell me if kids are laughing. They probably are. But I’m confident Andy Samberg can lift this movie. The trailer seems dumb, yet promising.

Unless I’m forgetting something, Rock of Ages will be the first musical I see in theaters since Sweeney Todd. Not sure how much I’ll enjoy the singing, but the story looks to have translated well from stage to screen. An unexpected Tom Cruise role might be the tipping point to making the film memorable.



-This could be a disaster:

Battleship- The obvious choice. The movie looks like a diluted version of Transformers, but in the water and based on a less interesting toy. A cast full of highly sought after actors makes me wonder. Taylor Kitsch has already proven that he has the ability to flop a blockbuster, but in Liam Neeson I trust.

Honorable Mention:

Since the cast in The Expendables 2 is an upgrade from the original, the movie should be better. But I just can’t be sure until I see it. Chuck Norris, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis and Jean Claude Van Damme. They can probably afford to kill off some of those lesser known expendable characters now… See what I did there?

GI Joe: Retaliation, another one that looks to be an upgrade from the original. But the trailer doesn’t have me convinced. Did they need to kill everyone from the original? The addition of The Rock and Bruce Willis shows promise. I just spent an hour reading about GI Joe characters on Wikipedia. Please don’t disappoint me, GI Joe: Retaliation.



-Best. Movie. Ever.

Is there any way that The Dark Knight Rises won’t completely blow our minds? The trailers have remained fairly cryptic, but we’ve seen enough to tell us that things don’t go smoothly for the Caped Crusader. Will we finally see a comic book movie nominated for best picture at the Oscars?

Honorable Mention:

The Amazing Spider-Man seems to annoy some people who would have liked another Tobey Maguire Spider-Man. I agreed with them until this new version looked so good! It’s a step away from the typical super hero blockbuster and toward a more character driven and unique spin. Plus, it’s Spider-Man, who is always awesome.

And just to finish the comic book trifecta, there is The Avengers. It’s so many years in the making that there’s a good chance it will become one of the most iconic comic book movies ever made. The buildup has definitely been a home run. I don’t see the movie disappointing anyone. How do you balance such big actors and such a big project? Bring in Joss Whedon, the X-Men writing, sci-fi creating, comic-con master.

And with that, you're ready. Get out there and see these movies.

An Answer to the Avengers

The idea for The Avengers is a cool one. Take a handful of previously established characters and put them together in one film, or originally a comic book. But what if we took that a step further and created an ultimate hero movie? Here is the W^M team… even though the plot to this movie would probably be really stupid.

-Wolverine- X-Men Origins: Wolverine

He still has his memory at this point and by the size of him I would think he isn’t yet on his beef jerky and whiskey diet. Plus Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine is smart, believable and bad ass. Wolverine would be at the front line of whatever situation called for this ridiculous collection of fictional characters.

-Ethan Hunt- Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

The latest appearance of Ethan Hunt is wiser and even more daring than in the other films. He has the composure to handle surveillance situations and don’t count him out in hand to hand combat. Then there's Tom Cruise, who is on the top of his game. So his presence wouldn’t hurt a film like this, which would likely need a $1 billion budget.

-Tommy Oliver- Power Rangers: The Movie

He was just a troubled new kid in town when Alpha 5 recruited “a team of teenagers with attitude,” but by the time Power Rangers: The Movie came around; the guy knew what he was doing. There needs to be a good balance of actual humans on this team so Tommy, who did time as the green, white, red and black Power Rangers seems the perfect fit. Jason David Frank isn’t much of an actor, but the character's leadership and martial arts skills make up for that.

-Harry Potter- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II

I considered the aurors and the professors, but in the eighth film Harry proves that he actually is pretty awesome. Imagine if the villains of our film aren’t wizards. Harry would own the fight. He also doesn’t have a problem stepping back and taking orders. People have been telling him he’s the chosen one since he was 11. So he knows how to handle pressure.

-Batman- Batman Begins

He’s less raspy than in The Dark Knight and less arrogant. The guy isn’t really a team player, easily gets discouraged and relies heavily on gadgets that his wealth buys him. But he is good with technology. When he doesn’t know, he asks Morgan Freeman, so he is always ready with tanks, weapons, capes. Imagine Bruce Wayne outfitting Harry Potter with the awesome cape that makes it like your flying!

Legolas- Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Another follower, imagine him and Wolverine counting off their kills like the character does with Gimli throughout the LOTR trilogy. To this day, I have never seen another character kill a bunch of guys, then kill a giant elephant and ride down the trunk of its dying carcass.

Selene- Underworld: Awakening

She kills so many bad guys throughout the Underworld films, it's crazy. With an unnaturally long life filled with constant battles, she has the experience only Wolverine and the not-yet-mentioned team leader does.

Yoda- Star Wars: Episode II- Attack of the Clones

He hasn’t become all depressed yet because his colleagues aren’t murdered until the next movie. So Yoda is still the ultimate leader for the ultimate team. Plus his lightsaber skills are some of the best around.

Eat your heart out Avengers.

Who is on your ultimate hero team?

The Sequel Dilemma

For my reviewing method, the box office success or the potential of it has little impact. This seems like a no brainer. Money doesn’t always equal quality. Money does however equal expansion. I am constantly met with the following scenario. A highly anticipated film ends with a cliff hanger. I instantly think to what the sequel may include. Three days later the movie is deemed a flop and that’s it. Cut the budget, cut characters, anything! But no, it’s too late. This weekend three films opened, all expected to flop. Sorry Disney, but I'm glad you had the decency to end John Carter at a good point and not leave the audience hanging. (Keep an eye out for the W^M review of the film.)

While the horror film Silent House and Eddie Murphy’s A Thousand Words would be long shots for sequels, it’s clear that studios will turn anything into a sequel for a chance at replicating success. How many Saw movies were there? I saw none of them, (I have a self-imposed ban on horror movies) but apparently somebody did. Three Paranormal Activity movies, a third Hangover is coming to life and nobody will leave Kristen Wiig alone regarding a Bridesmaids sequel. I’m not here to complain that there are no original movies out there. I love franchises, but taking some power out of the hands of the studios would go a long way in quelling the cliff-hanger dilemma.

Imagine if Peter Jackson had made the Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring without a financial commitment for the other films. Or if Warner Bros. dropped Harry Potter after Chamber of Secrets didn’t meet expectations. Both seem unthinkable with their overwhelming success and quality. But when studios are unwilling to commit to a franchise we get situations like The Golden Compass, an overly simplified version of the source book, which is dependent on sequels that never came.

Studios are understandably concerned with costs, and it would be unrealistic to think that box office receipts would not be the final call regarding sequels. So here is an open call to all independently wealthy people. I will make the unwanted sequels to all your favorite movies… if you pay. Do you think I can get Matthew Broderick and Hank Azaria to star in my Godzilla sequel?