The Unauthorized Harry Potter Sequels

We all know the commonly accepted theory that movie studios will put out almost anything in order to make money. Now that is pretty much true. Sequels run rampant on the success of the originals and most movies could be compared to a past release in either look or theme. But it seems the studios do know when to not push their luck. Consider the highest grossing franchise of all-time, Harry Potter. Yes, they stretched the seven novels into eight movies, but the reality is that characters are off limits now that the written story is done.

But this week HP author JK Rowling releases her first book for adults, “The Casual Vacancy.” There’s no Harry, no Ron and no Hermione, but continue holding your breath. In an interview with the BBC, when asked about returning to the Wizarding World, Rowling said “... if I did have a great idea for something else, I probably would do it. I am very averse to the prequel-sequel idea. A side step could maybe ... well, we'll see." We Muggles will take that as a good sign. If a new book comes, you can be sure a movie would be right around the corner.

In the meantime, say Warner Bros. decided they didn’t want to wait and were somehow able to bring a new Harry Potter movie to the big screen without an accompanying book. Here is our list of potential movie starting points.

-Mapping the Marauders

The most obvious suggestion would be to follow Harry’s parents and their well-known classmates through Hogwarts. There would be the tension between James, Lilly and Snape to deal with. Plus a certain werewolf we all know has to deal with his fang and claw issues on top of finishing his Potions homework. Less dire circumstances than HP, but it would still be fun to watch.

-The Dawn of the Death Eaters

A more intellectual look into Hogwarts would follow a teenage Voldemort around as he takes the school as his own in a dark sort of thriller. Dumbledore would be there at every turn to try to stop him, and his pre-horcrux conflicted mind would make for an anti-hero, who the audience knows doesn’t stand a chance of turning out to be the good guy. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince tells us this would be incredibly exciting.

-The Founding Four

Covering the founders of Hogwarts would give a virtually clean slate to make a new story with characters who were already introduced. Some of the school ghosts were still alive, Slytherin brought about constant fighting and the unshakeable foundation of the Hogwarts system was still in its infancy. Plus what were wizards like so long ago? The possibilities for this story are many.

-The Durmstrang Dodger

One option is take a small role and steer clear of Hogwarts (and England for that matter.) Someone like Victor Krum, who we know has experience dabbling in the dark arts, but isn’t a bad guy for the most part. He’s all the way in Bulgaria where Voldemort is lesser known than the once menacing Grindelwald so the whole school dynamic at Durmstrang must be different than the Slytherin vs. the world mentality of Hogwarts. Plus, there’s the little fact that Krum is the world’s best Quidditch player. Fame related drama ensues.

-Wizard War I

Our vote for a Harry Potter prequel comes when the boy wizard was just an infant. Fans are familiar with a lot of the big events during the first battle between Voldemort and Dumbledore’s Order of the Phoenix. But a closer account with James, Hagrid, Sirius, and all the others at the forefront would be golden for fans.

As awesome as any of these films would be, Harry is, like we said, off limits for the time being. So we’ll have to keep watching the eight films we already have. “The Casual Vacancy” is in stores now.

Let us know your ideas in the comments.

Five Things The Emmys Said About Award Season

Those familiar with What’s Up Movement and our commentary know that award season is a very prominent time on our film calendar. And since the film festivals are coming to a close that means we are there. First up is the 64th annual Emmy Awards. Crickets… Aren’t the Emmys for television? Yes, they are. But we can learn a lot about what is in store for the reminder of the trophy year from how the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences made their decisions this past Sunday.

-There is still a place for movie stars.

The media is constantly telling us that movie stars like Tom Cruise or Denzel Washington no longer have the influence they once did. But Kevin Costner’s win for Lead Actor in a Miniseries or TV Movie says otherwise. Sure, he was praised for his turn in Hatfields and McCoys, but there is a good chance that the scenario in this category played out as tie goes to the movie star. And with other favorites like Idris Elba and Bill Paxton losing out to the better known Costner, that theory is viable.

-Hollywood is Predictable

Jon Hamm lost again, Modern Family won everything again and it’s become pretty clear that the “artists” no longer respect network television. So when the film nominations come out we may get thrown a bone for a fan favorite like The Dark Knight Rises or something similar, but they will not win. Nothing will compromise how cultured Hollywood thinks they are.

-Hollywood Doesn’t Want To Be Predictable

How else can one explain Jon Cryer picking up the win for Lead Actor in a Comedy or Jeff Probst not getting nominated after four consecutive wins for Reality Host? Sadly, it has less to do with performance than it does a statement being made. It doesn’t matter that the nation collectively wanted Steve Carell to get an Emmy for his time on “The Office” after being nominated from 2006-2011. That’s not for the nation to decide.

-Ryan Seacrest Actually Knows Stuff

The guy is a perpetual punch line, but his connectivity with Hollywood and the big names in entertainment make his red carpet interviews way better than the others. Putting aside the incessant side bars from E’s fashion police and their gimmicks like the “Mani-cam,” Seacrest’s coverage actually proved more insightful than ABC, who was actually hosting the show. The other award shows will be similar.

-Don’t Bet on It

I always predict the Oscar winners with my family, but don’t put any serious dough on these award shows. There are all kinds of numbers that show how many Best Picture Oscar winners won after getting the Critic’s Choice, Golden Globe, etc. but no one really knows. Did you know Betty White was nominated for hosting the reality show “Betty White’s Off Their Rockers?” Explain that one to me and then you can bet on the Oscars.

The Lost Roles of Denzel Washington

While promoting his latest film, Flight, Denzel Washington revealed to GQ a few roles he let slip away throughout his long career. It’s always interesting to play the alternate reality game with Hollywood’s finest and in this instance Denzel states that the David Fincher thriller, Seven as well as Tony Gilroy’s directorial debut, Michael Clayton were the ones that got away. After he passed on the films, the roles went to Brad Pitt and George Clooney respectively. Those are some pretty decent fallbacks if you ask me. Denzel also goes on to say that he sought roles in Platoon and Full Metal Jacket. But why stop there? We cast Denzel in this year’s biggest movies to see how things would have gone.

The Avengers

We offer Denzel the roles of both Tony Stark and Nick Fury. He turns them down to play The Hulk. The world is treated to the most unique portrayal of Dr. Bruce Banner we’ve ever seen. The Hulk no longer growls, he just laughs coolly while strolling through the New York City war zone. “Huh Ha! Hulk gonna smash ya!”

The Dark Knight Rises

Due to scheduling conflicts Denzel has to turn down the Batman role, but he is able to play Alfred. When director Chris Nolan tells Denzel to inspire Bruce Wayne, he misunderstands and busts out his speech from Remember the Titans.

“This is where they fought the battle of Gettysburg. Fifty thousand men died right here on this field, fighting the same fight that we are still fighting among ourselves today.”

After a long explanation about Gotham’s location in the fictional US and who the villain is, the scenes get cut from the film.

The Hunger Games

Denzel plays Haymitch, Katniss and Peeta’s mentor and past winner of the games. While insisting on going method for the role, it turns out Denzel gets giggly when drunk and spends the whole time claiming he won the Hunger Games by building a room behind a wall and robbing a bank, a story which is very similar to his film, The Inside Man.

The Amazing Spider-Man

Taking on the role of Dr. Connors/The Lizard, it turns out Denzel does a great job and the crowds rejoice. Imagine that.

I guess Denzel doesn’t need our help. Flight opens November 2nd. The full GQ interview can be read here.

A Warning Against Film Prejudice

We often get a bit of a criticism for the way blockbuster movies are scored in our reviews. In the year end rankings it’s been common to see comic book characters right next to the Oscar nominees, or sometimes above them on the list. Why is that? Well probably because I’ve never considered sadness as a more credible emotion than excitement and spectacle. Remember that moment when you were a kid and you saw the movie. It’s different for everyone. I have about 50. Star Wars, Godzilla, Die Hard. Those movies matter to us because they introduce us to something new, and even more importantly, because we like them.

With my generation, there seems to be a shift around college age where instantly spectacle becomes shallow and excitement becomes cheap. Sure, people will praise The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises because the critics tell us it is okay to do so. I can tell you right now that in a few weeks the pessimistic moviegoer will be praising Looper. The critics are telling us we may do so.

My approach is to go to each movie with the same excitement. I often go on weeknights when the theaters are mostly empty. My wife times me on how long it takes to get our tickets from the kiosk. (I can navigate the whole process in 20 seconds. It’s actually pretty impressive). My point is that I want to be there. But now what? The summer is over and the award season bait is hitting the screens. That’s okay too. Be excited for those. Different film elements are on display. Dialogue is more paramount than the emotions tied to physically fighting.

So here is my call against the least important and damaging form of prejudice, film prejudice. I’m quick to defend action blockbusters since I am constantly reading the “experts” rip them to pieces because of their supposed inferiority. But in reality, the casual moviegoer needs to approach the indie dramas with a similarly open mind. I dare you to go to the movies without an opinion of a film predetermined. It’s tough. But if you’re not willing to have fun at the movies, wait until they come onto TBS or FX. Then you can whine about the amount of commercials they’re playing.

Who is Resident Evil?

The fifth film in the Resident Evil Series hit theaters this weekend, Resident Evil: Retribution, and while the jury is still out on our thoughts of the film, check back for a full review, the constant commercials got me thinking. Resident Evil is actually a pretty interesting name for a video game/ film franchise. From a quick Google search it seems that the title is just in reference to the threat being local. If so, that’s a waste. It has a very Citizen Kane flavor to it. Which film villain would make the best RESIDENT EVIL?

Anakin Skywalker/ Darth Vader- Star Wars: Episode III- Revenge of the Sith

The character is definitely much more evil in the original Star Wars films, but in this episode Skywalker turns and kills a ton of unsuspecting Jedi because they know him as one of their own. That would make him a resident and evil.

Tom Riddle/ Voldemort- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

The youthful version of the wizard is more hung up on schoolyard forms of villainy, but there seems little hope the bad seed would ever find his way. We tried to tell you, Dumbledore. Once the kid murders his dad (not on screen), the creep becomes a case study in evil.

The Shark- Jaws

You don’t get much more residential than a nice day trip to the beach. Then out of nowhere, a big old shark eats you. Sure nature is nature, but that doesn’t mean the shark isn’t evil.

Norman Bates- Psycho

He doesn’t track people down. He waits for them to come to his motel. And his mother is quite creepy as well. Norman would be a clearer shoo in as Resident Insane, but the way Psycho plays out leaves me thinking the guy fits just fine into the evil category.

The Joker- The Dark Knight

We all know how impressive it was for Heath ledger to reinvent a character that’s been performed so many times. But rarely has a villain been so crazy… and awesome. Is the Joker a resident of Gotham? We don’t know, but he picked that particular city to be the focus of his evil.

So what do you think? Did we pretty much cover it or do you have a Resident Evil in mind?